there. i heard it straight from the horses' mouth.
i've said my piece.
here i am, foolishly working on your present. something which i started a while back. hoping that you understand how i feel. and i even checked prices this very morning, thinkin that everything would go smoothly as it had previously. i should really stop being such a pushover. naively believing what people say or do. Actions truly speak louder than words.
If you already had it in mind, why did you still talk about the trip or about koh samui? isn't that false hope? whats the point of saying that you would try to arrange something when you had planned the ending in your mind? and even when i offered to sponsor, you never objected or said anything.
i actually planned to pop the big question since it has been lingering in my mind. and you previously mentioned you were waitin for "the girl" who called you to ask in person.
interestingly, you were the one who told me i had more confidence now as compared to before. well. the very same person shattered it. you say its difficult for you. seriously, it was easy for you to come to a decision so quickly. how difficult could it be?
this is the one time which led me to have expectations and to really go for what i wanted to attain or achieve. you made me believe in forever. but apparently your forever never included me.
on a side note, i'm 45kg. WHERE DID MY OTHER 5 KG GO TO? time to spam buffets. I swear I did not even TRY to lose weight. I was perfectly happy with my 49/50kg.
i am drained. energy sucked out of me. extreme happiness and sadness.
to say i'm devastated is an understatement.
wow, to think that i was cynical before, now its gonna be worse.
SERIOUSLY i dunno how much worse it can get. time for some mental preparation.
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